Graduate high school, go to college, start a family, get a career. These were the expectations. Of these expectations, high school was the only one I didn’t manage to screw up.
Sure, I went to college right after high school. I also got put on academic probation after the first semester. I also got married and had a kid, but we only need to look at the title of this blog to imagine how that worked out.
Then there was the whole career thing. Two years. I think that is the longest I have worked for any one company. And I am in my mid 30’s.
I have graduated from college and have managed to maintain a healthy marriage for the past five years. So let’s focus on my career.
Why don’t I stay with a job for longer than two years? What’s wrong with me? I find a job I like, usually entry level because I go from job to job. I get really into it and master my tasks. Then I get bored, find a new job, and quit the one I’m good at. Every time I start to think about getting a new job, I start questioning everything about myself.
Why can’t I be satisfied with what I’m doing?
Am I self-sabotaging?
Will I ever discover what I am supposed to do with my life?
Why is there nothing I’m passionate about?
Then I would force my psychologist wife to assist in analyzing me. But she was no help because she would just deny that I was self-sabotaging. She wouldn’t even admit that there was anything wrong with me. How is that helpful to my pity party?
But then she did help.
She sent me a link to this video that talked about being a multipotentialite. The idea is that you don’t have to have one thing that you’re passionate about, or that should be your career. That some people, other than myself, never find that one job that they spend the rest of their life doing.
This was huge!
This was bigger than realizing I was a lesbian and coming to terms with it!
I don’t have to know what I’m supposed to do for the rest of my life. It’s okay to explore all my interests. Getting bored with a job and searching for the next one does not mean that I am running from something and looking for greener grass on the other side! I’m not self-sabotaging!
Now I just have to figure out a way to explore my interests and pay the bills doing it.
dreadedlesbian 