I recently visited Palm Springs, CA for a long weekend. I was apprehensive, not because I would be meeting people I’ve never met before and staying in the house of strangers, but because I have dreamed of going to California since I was a kid. Hmmm…dream? Apprehensive? Yep.
I have dreamed of acting and singing professionally since I was a kid. And as everyone knows, California is where you go to make those dreams come true. To understand my hesitation in heading west, you may need to know a little about my personality.
To most people, I seem patient. I don’t anger easily. I seek to understand other people’s points of view. I am known as a baby whisperer, putting babies to sleep without a fuss. Once, as a kid, I stood still until a hummingbird landed on my finger, using it as a perch to eat.
But stay with me long enough and you realize that I am not as patient as I seem. Once I decide that I want something, I want that something five minutes ago. For example, I always said I wanted a tattoo. It took me 28 years to finally decide what I wanted for a tattoo. Once I decided, I obsessed over getting it until I got it. So I figured that since I’ve wanted to go to California so badly for so long, going there for a weekend might spell trouble.
Upon arriving at the Palm Springs airport, I felt my fears coming to fruition. It was every bit as beautiful as I feared it would be. Hot. Dry. Mountains. Palm trees. Everything a person could want. Not to mention just a couple hours from L.A. and the ocean. I instantly started imagining myself moving there and making a living. This longing was only made worse hearing stories from our gracious hosts and their friends.
As Saturday came and went, my mind was focused on leaving. And I have to say, I wasn’t at all disappointed that our flight was full and we might have to drive into L.A. in order to get home, which is exactly what ended up happening.
Now the test begins. Back in Kansas, away from the dream. Eight years to wait.
dreadedlesbian 