I have been absent from this post (and most aspects of my life) for quite a while now. The reason? Self-discovery.
Not the type of self-discovery that you brag about and post endless pictures of on social media causing “friends” to turn green. Nope, this is the type of self-discovery that has destroyed my self-confidence. During this process, I have retreated away from friends and family. I have put aside hobbies and dreams.
It has caused me to start my life over.
And now, in order to save the lives of others experiencing this particular self-discovery process, I am making myself visible.
I am transgender. Female to Male (FTM).
Just like every process, all transgender people have their own unique experience. Some embrace the process and gain confidence with each month as they see themselves becoming the person they always knew they were.
Others die during this process.
I am somewhere in the middle. I have been on testosterone for nine months. My body is starting look like it should. Mentally, I struggle every day. Knowing that I should live my life for me, and then actually living it in the face of those that judge me are actions that are worlds apart.
If you are not trans, do not offer me advice on how to remedy this.
What you can do is look at me. See me. See my struggle. See how you are contributing to my struggles and the struggles of all trans people. And do something about it.
If you are trans and are in a place where you can be visible, both mentally, and without fear for your life…
BE VISIBLE.
dreadedlesbian 