Football anyone?

It’s the week before I turn 33, and what am I doing?  Well, putting off the final Sammy the Cat blog because I don’t want to plug my phone into my computer.  But even more than that…I’m planning for football.  What is that?  Football has already started?  Not for me.  You see, I have been asked to play for the Kansas City Titans.

Let me take you back…

A couple months ago, I was watching one of the first episodes of the current season of the X Factor.  Have I mentioned that I am a sucker for reality (or semi-reality) TV?  Plus I have to learn the shows since eventually I will be on one.  But anyway, this one female contestant played professional football.  Professional Women’s Football?  Who knew?  I had to know more so I began searching the world wide web.

That’s when I learned there is a team in Kansas City and they were right in the middle of open tryouts.  Of course, I immediately wanted to be a part of this. (Leave your cliche lesbian jokes at home.  I’m serious.)  I emailed the contact person and was invited out.

So a couple weeks ago I attended open tryouts.  It felt good to be at practice and part of a team again.  I didn’t know how much I missed that.  Most of the women there were past players.  They instantly welcomed us knew comers into the pack and I left feeling pretty good about myself.

Back to now…

I have cleats, workout clothes, and gloves.  Now all I have to do is get into shape.  And get frequent driver miles to Kansas City.

Sammy the Cat – 4 days left

Our ginger animals have an interesting relationship.  They love to antagonize each other.  When Sammy the Cat gets crazy, he intentionally gets the attention of the dog, probably just to get him in trouble.  But Sammy was the first to become comfortable with the new puppy.

Snuggle Sammy

But when Sammy gets crazy like he did with four days left of house arrest…

He begins to scale things.  Which gets the dog interested…

And my time is spent separating the two.  How many days left?

Sammy the Cat – 5 days left

Even when Sammy is not under house arrest, he likes to get into things like any normal cat.  His favorite past time is opening cabinet doors.  He really likes to open the door and read the cook books.  He also occasionally helps clean the bathroom.

Sink Sammy

Sink Inspector Sammy

Playin-it-cool Sammy

He also really likes electronics.  We know from yesterday that the decision to watch a movie can be daunting, but he’s always up to starting the DVD player.  I think it’s important to note that the DVD player sits on a shelf higher than my head.

DJ Sammy

With 5 days left, Sammy the Cat was ready for some adventure and took advantage of the dog being outside.

Ready-to-pounce Sammy

Semi-athletic Sammy

Playtime quickly ended when the dog came back inside, as no one is allowed to play but him.  So Sammy The Cat resigned himself to another lazy day.  Mid-afternoon, though, he was again attempting to find his own way outside, so I hooked him up to his kitty harness and we headed outside.  Even convicts get yard time.

Yard time Sammy

 

Pissed-I-won’t-let-him-jump-the-fence Sammy

I’m not sure if the time outside helped him feel better or made him more irritable about not getting to go out whenever he wants.

He definitely didn’t calm down any upon reentering the house.  In fact, he got into some trouble…

Styrofoam Sammy

Sammy the Cat – 6 days left

Sammy the Cat has an interesting relationship with the dog.  The dog chases him and pins him to the ground, steps on him and barks in his face.  I think Sammy likes it.  It makes moments like stealing the dog’s bed that much more pleasurable.

Revenge Sammy

This day started like most of the others, Sammy crying and scratching at the door to be let out.  By early evening, things took an interesting turn.  The perceived depression of the previous day was no where to be found.  Instead, Sammy the cat was a ball of energy.

He found a box to play with…

Box Sammy

When he got bored with that, he attempted to make the tough decision between watching a movie or lifting weights.

Indecisive Sammy

That decision ended up being too much for him so Sammy the Cat went about finding a new place to sleep.

Perforated Sammy

Laying on top of the cage gave him the idea of showing me how he feels.

Caged Sammy

After a short rest, he was up and at it again.  This time I think he decided to run away, and did the best he could under house arrest…

Dollhouse Sammy

Perhaps tomorrow I will take him for a jaunt in the backyard so he doesn’t feel so cooped up.

Sammy the Cat – 7 days left

It has been said that Sammy the Cat resembles Garfield.  He loves to eat.  He stalks and tricks the other animals.  And he sleeps like this…

Face plant Sammy

Sammy the Cat has been under house arrest for 3 days now and the reality of his situation is hitting him.  He planted himself on our bed last night and even crawled underneath the covers.  This is very unusual for him as he doesn’t like to have his head covered and always needs to know his escape route.  He continued to sleep on the bed throughout the following day.

Bed Potato Sammy

He finally ventured out of the bedroom in the early evening, but become instantly obsessed with the front door.

 

Door Sammy

He eventually gave up and went back to sleep.  It wasn’t a good, or eventful, day.

Sammy the Cat – 8 days left

Sammy the Cat has 8 days left on house arrest.

He started off the morning with a bad case of the Mondays.

Case of the Mondays Sammy

For those of you who know him, you will recognize the look of annoyance on his face.  By mid morning he was in mourning.  Batting helplessly at the door and crying to get out.

Mourning Sammy

He was able to recover and sleep away most of the day.  I started to feel bad for him so I opened a window hoping it would allow him to almost feel like he was outside.  I think he appreciated the effort, but remained upset.

Window Sammy

When evening came and all the other animals were going in and out, things really got hard for Sammy.  Every time the door opened, we had to hold him back.  I got several tail swishes, which can easily end in a warning bite (the reason we are in this situation in the first place).

He took this time to console himself the only way he knows how.

By eating.

Anxious Eater Sammy

A little history about Sammy the Cat…

When he is upset, mad, in trouble, anxious, or any other similar emotion, he eats.  He uses food to comfort himself.  This is obvious by the cleavage he presents when sitting.  I have a feeling it will only get worse this week.

After several suppers, I thought he had resigned himself for the night, finding a new place to escape.

Cubby Sammy

However, as I write, I can hear him trying to get out the pet door and crying at his lack of success…

Introducing Sammy the Cat

Sammy the cat has been in my life for five years.

He is usually only quiet when he is sleeping.  It has been rumored that his ancestors were part Bengal cat, but that has not been confirmed.  A more typical picture of him looks more like this:

Lego Sammy

Bubble Wrap Sammy

One year after adopting him, I felt he was mature enough to stay home alone while we went on vacation.  I was wrong.  I received a call from animal control telling me he was in kitty jail.  I had to call a friend to bail him out.  This story is important because today, animal control showed up at our house.  Sammy apparently retaliated against a neighbor and is now under house arrest.

Shark Sammy

I’m pretty sure he felt betrayed by the neighbor.

Anyway, the last time he was not allowed to go outside, things got interesting.  Now that he has to be locked in the house for a total of ten days and we have a not-quite-one-year-old puppy, I’m a little nervous.  So I’m documenting the next nine days.

Wish me luck…

Revenge or Acceptance?

As I entered the lecture hall, another attendee commented on the slouchy beanie perched atop my head.  The comment was less than positive, so I informed them that the beanie was a lot better than what was underneath it.  (I had spent a lot of time on my several attempts to make my hair look decent that morning.)

The person giving the lecture said that instead of seeking revenge, we should accept the other person where they are.  This is something I attempt to do often in my life, and while it is difficult, I feel that I grow as a person when I am able to accomplish this.

The irony that day?  The person who commented on my beanie prior to the lecture, sought me out afterwards to tell me that whatever was under my slouchy beanie was probably better than the beanie itself.  I, of course, had a witty comeback that was not necessarily intended to quiet the attacker, but to cover my hurt feelings.  This commentator of my attire sees their self as a friend.  I am beginning to think otherwise.

I usually don’t experience the lesson from the sermon at church so quickly.

Lesbian Sex Guide for Straight Guys – Season Finale

I just wanted to mention that any further posts of the Lesbian Sex Guide for Straight Guys are currently being put on hold.  If you have any specific questions related to the guide, please ask and I will answer them as I receive them.

Thanks!

Lesbian Sex Guide for Straight Guys – Teasing cont…

It’s been awhile since we covered teasing, so let’s recap.  You started the morning off right by complimenting her.  You sent little reminders all day that you were thinking of her (not reminders that you were thinking about sex).  This has all paid off and she’s in the mood.  Here is where you took your new found knowledge and slowed down enough to find some less-thought-about spots that seem to affect her (sexually).  You pushed your needs aside so you could hear her and feel her reactions and things are heating up.

Last time I mentioned that if she starts asking you to touch her certain places, you should avoid them.  Let’s go back to that.

When I say you should avoid them, I mean you should get as close as possible without touching that spot and then immediately go back to whatever you were doing when she asked.  This will shorten the time from asking to begging, which let’s admit, is what we are wanting.  I mean you, what YOU are wanting.

Continue to do this until she is begging.  Once she is begging, all lights are green.  Except of course those places which she said are always red lights.  Don’t even bring those up.  If the light color changes, she will let you know.

Go home and practice, until next time.