Revenge or Acceptance?

As I entered the lecture hall, another attendee commented on the slouchy beanie perched atop my head.  The comment was less than positive, so I informed them that the beanie was a lot better than what was underneath it.  (I had spent a lot of time on my several attempts to make my hair look decent that morning.)

The person giving the lecture said that instead of seeking revenge, we should accept the other person where they are.  This is something I attempt to do often in my life, and while it is difficult, I feel that I grow as a person when I am able to accomplish this.

The irony that day?  The person who commented on my beanie prior to the lecture, sought me out afterwards to tell me that whatever was under my slouchy beanie was probably better than the beanie itself.  I, of course, had a witty comeback that was not necessarily intended to quiet the attacker, but to cover my hurt feelings.  This commentator of my attire sees their self as a friend.  I am beginning to think otherwise.

I usually don’t experience the lesson from the sermon at church so quickly.

Lesbian Sex Guide for Straight Guys – Teasing cont…

It’s been awhile since we covered teasing, so let’s recap.  You started the morning off right by complimenting her.  You sent little reminders all day that you were thinking of her (not reminders that you were thinking about sex).  This has all paid off and she’s in the mood.  Here is where you took your new found knowledge and slowed down enough to find some less-thought-about spots that seem to affect her (sexually).  You pushed your needs aside so you could hear her and feel her reactions and things are heating up.

Last time I mentioned that if she starts asking you to touch her certain places, you should avoid them.  Let’s go back to that.

When I say you should avoid them, I mean you should get as close as possible without touching that spot and then immediately go back to whatever you were doing when she asked.  This will shorten the time from asking to begging, which let’s admit, is what we are wanting.  I mean you, what YOU are wanting.

Continue to do this until she is begging.  Once she is begging, all lights are green.  Except of course those places which she said are always red lights.  Don’t even bring those up.  If the light color changes, she will let you know.

Go home and practice, until next time.

Lesbian Sex Guide For Straight Guys – Call to Straight Gals

The point of the Lesbian Sex Guide for Straight Guys is to benefit my straight lady friends.  So I want to hear from you.  What are your concerns and questions?  What does your man do that you absolutely love?  What do you want him to know that you would never even think about telling him?

Think ‘Friends with Benefits’ movie and let’s get brutally honest.

With all this abstinence only in our schools and sex being a taboo subject once we become adults, how is it that we expect our partners to automatically know what we want?  When the only education our men get is from older siblings, movies and porn, we can’t really expect too much from them.  So let’s help them out.  There’s no reason the straight gals should suffer. Or remain uneducated themselves, actually.

If you prefer to email me privately, you can do so at nmmccall@yahoo.com.

Lesbian Sex Guide for Straight Guys – The Warm Up

Foreplay has become such a dirty word.  Women hate it because it rarely happens and men hate it because it’s a chore.  So we will call it the warm up.

Warming up for sex is similar to other warm ups.  For the athletes, think about warming up before practice or a game, for singers, think about warming up your voice.  While warming up right before the game or performance is the most intense, you’ve really been warming up all day.  Every time you talk, you are warming up your voice.  When you walk around or use the stairs, you are warming up your muscles.  You wouldn’t lay still in bed all day and then expect to tear up the court.

It’s the same idea for warming up before sex.  The most intense time is right before, but you should be warming up all day.  Straight guys, this does not have to be an extended chore.  Quite the opposite really.

All it takes is whispering something nice as you pass by her in the bathroom, in the kitchen, on your way out the door.  A “good morning, beautiful” will go a long way.  Take a few seconds to just look at her, if she catches you looking, it’s even better.  Send her a text to let her know you’re thinking about her.  One of these is not enough.  This is a continuous process and should be taking place periodically throughout the day.

Now it’s important to mention here that you should not be pushing sex at this point, unless you have both agreed that this is your sex night, in which case you should definitely bring it up and may want to give suggestions of specific things you will do to her that you know she likes.

These interactions should not last more than a few seconds.  Think about them as being teasers (we will cover teasing in length later on).  The purpose is to keep her thinking about you, not to overwhelm her.  If you do this right, you won’t have to worry about taking out the trash to keep her happy.

After work, flirt while supper is being made or ordered, glance at each other during supper, do something together or with the family instead of turning on the TV.  When getting the kids ready for bed, comment on how good of a mother she is.

Then it’s time for the home stretch.  You’ve stayed conscious of your efforts all day and had a positive response (if you didn’t get a positive response, it’s because it has been too long since you tried anything like this, you didn’t do it right, or your wife’s a lesbian).  The kids are in bed and it’s just the two of you.

Now this is where it gets fun…