The big news in Kansas this week, at least in my circle, has been House Bill 2453. This bill is better known as the religious freedom bill. It looks like this bill may be dead, but this is Kansas. If this one dies, another one will come along shortly.
As a lesbian who is also a Christian, I think I could really put this bill to use. And as we all know, not all Christian religions were created equal, so being a fellow Christian does not guarantee that you are safe from my discrimination.
I need to be prepared, so if this bill or a similar one passes, please expect to receive the following questionnaire before we interact. This includes past friends and business acquaintances, I don’t want to accidentally interact with someone I should have discriminated against.
1. Are you religious?
Yes No
If you answered yes, please proceed to question 2. If you answered no, please note that this is not a deal breaker but may be taken into consideration at any time. (My religion does not discriminate against those who aren’t religious, but I don’t want to lose any future opportunities.) Skip to question 5.
2. Do you consider yourself Christian?
Yes No
If you answered yes, please proceed to question 2. If you answered no, please skip to question 5.
3. Does your religion believe that the wine and bread are actually the blood and body of Christ or just representations?
If you answered that the wine and bread are just representations, proceed to question 4. If you answered that the wine and bread are actually the blood and body of Christ, return the questionnaire and walk away. My religion does not believe the same as you and having any business with you is a threat to my religion.
4. Does your religion believe that women are less equal than men in any way? For example, are women forbidden from being members of clergy?
Yes No
If you answered no, please proceed to question 5. If you answered yes, return the questionnaire and walk away. My religion does not believe the same as you and having any business with you is a threat to my religion.
5. Do you believe that LGBT people are just like everyone else and should be treated as such?
Yes No
If you answered no, return the questionnaire and walk away. My religion does not believe the same as you and having any business with you is a threat to my religion.
Congratulations! We can now interact at a superficial level. Please be advised that I may require you to complete other questionnaires in the future if I feel the nature of our interactions justify it.
Think this is idiotic? So do I.
dreadedlesbian 